Our Personal Tests for Reality: Breaking Free from False Narratives
It’s easy to get caught up in our perceptions of reality, especially when we filter everything through our personal tests. These tests—our fears, emotions, thoughts, memories, beliefs, and the validation we get from others—shape how we experience the world. The tricky part is that these tests aren’t always aligned with what’s real.
Think about it. Our senses are subjective. For example, someone with color blindness perceives colours differently, or we all have unique temperature tolerances. Just the other day, my daughter asked me to turn up the heat because she was freezing, while I was feeling too hot. Both experiences were real, yet they were also very different. That’s because reality isn’t just what we feel or think—it’s measurable.
So, what is reality? It’s simple: it exists in measurable distance, time, and form.
Distance is easy to measure. I can measure a meter between us, and that’s reality.
Time is measurable too. I can’t just wake up and declare I’m forty years old without being off by a few years.
Form is physical. I can’t walk through a wall—if something exists physically, it's real.
"Reality is not defined by our perceptions or feelings, but by what is measurable in time, distance, and form. Our subjective experiences are interpretations of reality, not reality itself. To know what is real, we must distinguish between what exists and the meanings we attach to it."
— Tina Richards
Let’s use love in the context of relationships as an example.
We often equate love with a feeling, but feelings are fleeting—they come and go. How many different moods and feelings do you experience in a typical day? So many, right? That’s why feelings aren’t the most reliable measure of what’s real. One minute, you could be feeling one thing, and the next, something entirely different.
Now, what if love were less about how you feel and more about your Word—the promises you make about your love for your partner? In reality, your relationship will work or it won’t, based on your commitment, not on your feelings. Feelings change constantly. What you want changes as you evolve. You don’t desire the same things now as you did when you were a kid do you?
That’s why love is a matter of your Word. When you commit to your love for your partner, it means agreeing to face whatever challenges come up—no matter what feelings arise. If love weren’t about your Word, then some of us would be married to a version of ourselves that says, "I don’t want to be here anymore."
We make meaning of everything in our lives—whether it’s a simple interaction or a big event. Take a look at how we interpret signs like 11:11 on the clock or the fear of walking under a ladder. We make these meanings, not because they are inherent truths, but because humans are wired to assign meaning to everything. But that meaning? It’s just a story we tell ourselves. And most of the time, it’s not real.
Think about my Great Dane, Ellie. When I was short with her before leaving the house, she didn’t take it personally. She didn’t create a story around it. But we humans? We assign meaning to everything, even the smallest things. We create these stories—good or bad (based in morality)—and let them dictate how we feel. The problem is, these stories aren’t reality; they’re just our interpretations of what happened.
For years, I lived in my own stories—stories that weren’t serving me. I’d create narratives that gave me a sense of righteousness or allowed me to play the victim. I’d focus on what was wrong, instead of looking at what was really happening. It wasn’t until I started to notice these patterns that I began to shift my perspective.
The key to changing this is getting real about what’s happening versus what we’re making it mean. It’s about understanding that we have the power to choose how we react. It’s also about recognizing that, as humans, we get rewards or a payoff from our stories—even the unhealthy ones. When we challenge ourselves to look at what we’re truly getting from our stories, we can start to change our behaviour and move toward healthier, more empowering patterns.
Our interpretations of reality often keep us stuck in cycles that don’t serve us. But when we break down situations into what actually happened versus the stories we’ve created around them, we begin to see things more clearly. And when we stop making meaning out of everything, we take back our power and our peace.
So, what if we started challenging the stories we create? What if we let go of assigning meaning to every interaction, every event, every challenge? What if we stopped letting our personal tests for reality dictate the course of our lives?
I can tell you from experience: the moment you do, you’ll start seeing things in a whole new light. And that’s where the real power is. Break free from the false narratives, and start living in the reality that truly serves you.
Thoughts? Would love to hear from you below.
Namaste
T xo
