Authenticity in the Form of Communication

How often do we hear people claim, "I’m just being authentic" when they say something hurtful or inappropriate? Authenticity has been a trending buzzword in recent years. Social media overflows with quotes like:

"Authenticity means living your truth."
"I know of nothing more valuable than being who you are."

Everybody has the absolute right to be who they are and live their truth—except if you commit barbarous acts that outrage the conscience of humankind, such as those who rape, murder, enslave, or oppress. Don’t live that truth, and by all means, do not live that "authentic" version of yourself.

Authenticity vs. Impulsiveness

The key point I delve into in my book, Live Your Dreams Not Your Drama, is communication in the space of authenticity. Authenticity in the form of communication is often misunderstood as an excuse to unload the trash in our minds all over others. That’s not authenticity, folks. People who say, “Well, I’m just being honest,” or “I’m just being authentic,” while they unload their emotional baggage on you, are not being authentic. That’s not authenticity; that’s the lack of ability to communicate and poor impulse control. Authenticity isn’t about letting our inner chaos spill onto others like a toddler throwing a tantrum in the grocery store. It’s about being real—without the messy emotional spray.

The Authenticity Buzz

Authenticity is about aligning your words and actions with your values. But let’s not confuse being real with being reckless. If your version of authenticity is offloading your emotions or opinions without regard for others, that’s not authenticity; it’s impulsiveness. Authentic communication requires responsibility—it's about taking ownership of how your words land and acknowledging their impact on others.

Take, for instance, a personal experience I had with a numerologist. After sharing an engaging connection and exchanging ideas, I invited her to a session I was hosting, genuinely excited to share something meaningful with her. Afterward, I followed up to see how my numerology report was coming along. Her response was an unexpected gut-punch:

"After reviewing your answers, I don’t feel we’re a good fit to work together. I felt like you only invited me to your session to sell me on it. That didn’t feel genuine, and it came across as misleading. This doesn’t speak integrity to me. I work with people who are ready for the next level of spirituality."

Oof. That stung. This could have been communicated so much better. A simple, “I don’t think we’re a good fit to work together right now,” would have sufficed. Instead, her response layered assumptions and judgment, leaving me feeling both crummy and ticked off. Folks, authenticity isn’t about saying what we think or feel without any regard for how it lands on others. It’s about leaving others feeling whole and complete.

Communication: The Great Equalizer

Our words shape our reality. They impact how people see us, our relationships, and even how we see ourselves. Authentic communication isn’t about being unfiltered or voicing every opinion we hold. It’s about taking responsibility for how our words land.

When we communicate mindfully, we build trust, deepen relationships, and cultivate a sense of respect. Authentic communication is a bridge, not a bulldozer.

I created the Pause and Pivot Habit to help me communicate more mindfully and intentionally. When I reacted impulsively in the past, misunderstandings and hurt feelings often ensued. Pausing gave me space to reflect on my emotions, intentions, and how my words might affect others. Pivoting allowed me to rephrase my message to ensure it landed as intended. This habit became a tool for leaving people feeling heard and understood, even during challenging conversations.

Final Thoughts

Being authentic is a gift to yourself and the world, but it’s a gift best delivered with intention and care. Authenticity isn’t about bulldozing others with your truth. It’s about standing firmly in your truth while honoring the humanity of those around you. As I say in my book—authenticity is not a free pass for being an ass.

Are you ready to take your communication—and your authenticity—to the next level? Dive deeper into these life-changing perspectives and more in my new book, Live Your Dreams Not Your Drama. It’s available now in Kindle and paperback on all Amazon platforms now, with the official launch on January 7, 2025.